Ok, so I’m bipolar ok? ….. Not the best ice-breaker in a party conversation and certainly tends to startle people however they try their best not to react in a bluster of shocked, confused, startled and sometimes even ‘fearing for their life’ as though you’ve just said ‘Hi everyone, my name is Sarah, I’m an axe murderer and I’m currently hiding three bodies under my floor-boards and as part of my ‘twelve step’ programme, I hope to reach my goal of ten bodies before the weekend is out!’
Luckily, I’m not currently in a party situation. This is my blog. My personal account of musings that folks are welcome to come and read but there’s no awkward ‘Do we really need to stick around here after eating those god fucking awful crudités ?’ type of thing.
On the more crappy days, like today, I tend to have a twisted version of my already rather warped sense of humour. I’m pissed off!! That’s all it is – I’m not about to start killing people even if I DO carry my facial expression similar to the proverbial bull dog licking piss off a nettle ;)! I DO however enjoy mental wanderings on my favourite literary serial killers – Oh come on, we ALL do that occasionally – don’t we? Is it possible or even preferable to permanently live in a mental state of hearts, flowers & butterflies ? Really?
I’m mostly like the old cantankerous bitch that lives in every street and terrifies the kids – shame it doesn’t bloody work on my own kids – unless, of course, they are simply immune to my charms? There’s a programme on in the background here on Genghis Khan’s grandson leading his Mongol Empire against Hungary – of course, annihilation is the result!! I’m in a particularly Mongolian mood- and I rather love it 😉
See, there’s a person that’s been bothering me on a forum that we all know well – nothing too obvious, just making me uncomfortable in a way that I don’t wish to report – it’s not THAT bad, honestly, – at the same time, I KNOW for a FACT that in real life, I’d have told him to fuck off (with my best menacing smile full of charm and steel) long ago! Even my hubby is amazed that I haven’t done the same thing online. See, this person is rather insidious, there is just nothing obvious that I can pick him up on – just a creep. Now, I’ve calmed down a LOT over the years but I’m still a ‘ballsy gal’ that doesn’t take crap on ANY level, from ANY body! So, the question remains….. WHY the hell haven’t I told him? … I think the virtual goalposts have moved, I can’t see this guys face to gauge how he means what he says. It could well be that in the physical world, I would just laughingly say ‘oh bugger off you silly sod’ and that would be the end of it. Because I can’t gauge it and deal with it, it is festering. This is NEVER a good thing!
Just a thought but I wonder if I could stick a virtual ice pick in his eye?
This too will pass. They always do. So, why is if making me nauseous?