The irritable downswing syndrome

Ok, so I’m bipolar ok? ….. Not the best ice-breaker in a party conversation and certainly tends to startle people however they try their best not to react in a bluster of shocked, confused, startled and sometimes even ‘fearing for their life’ as though you’ve just said ‘Hi everyone, my name is Sarah, I’m an axe murderer and I’m currently hiding three bodies under my floor-boards and as part of my ‘twelve step’ programme, I hope to reach my goal of ten bodies before the weekend is out!’

Luckily, I’m not currently in a party situation. This is my blog. My personal account of musings that folks are welcome to come and read but there’s no awkward ‘Do we really need to stick around here after eating those god fucking awful cruditรฉs ?’ type of thing.

On the more crappy days, like today, I tend to have a twisted version of my already rather warped sense of humour. I’m pissed off!! That’s all it is – I’m not about to start killing people even if I DO carry my facial expression similar to the proverbial bull dog licking piss off a nettle ;)! I DO however enjoy mental wanderings on my favourite literary serial killers – Oh come on, we ALL do that occasionally – don’t we? Is it possible or even preferable to permanently live in a mental state of hearts, flowers & butterflies ? Really?

I’m mostly like the old cantankerous bitch that lives in every street and terrifies the kids – shame it doesn’t bloody work on my own kids – unless, of course, they are simply immune to my charms? There’s a programme on in the background here on Genghis Khan’s grandson leading his Mongol Empire against Hungary – of course, annihilation is the result!! I’m in a particularly Mongolian mood- and I rather love it ๐Ÿ˜‰

See, there’s a person that’s been bothering me on a forum that we all know well – nothing too obvious, just making me uncomfortable in a way that I don’t wish to report – it’s not THAT bad, honestly, – at the same time, I KNOW for a FACT that in real life, I’d have told him to fuck off (with my best menacing smile full of charm and steel) long ago! Even my hubby is amazed that I haven’t done the same thing online. See, this person is rather insidious, there is just nothing obvious that I can pick him up on – just a creep. Now, I’ve calmed down a LOT over the years but I’m still a ‘ballsy gal’ that doesn’t take crap on ANY level, from ANY body! So, the question remains….. WHY the hell haven’t I told him? … I think the virtual goalposts have moved, I can’t see this guys face to gauge how he means what he says. It could well be that in the physical world, I would just laughingly say ‘oh bugger off you silly sod’ and that would be the end of it. Because I can’t gauge it and deal with it, it is festering. This is NEVER a good thing!

Just a thought but I wonder if I could stick a virtual ice pick in his eye?

This too will pass. They always do. So, why is if making me nauseous?

Awesome Corsetry

Of all things beautiful and sensual, I absolutely adore corsets!! Several downsizing house-moves have resulted in a noted downsizing in my collection of all things lingerie. I don’t mean everyday bras and knickers, I mean luxury lingerie. Now I’ve set myself the task, however arduous (erm….not!), of searching the net for a new corset!

Years back when I first bought a corset the internet wasn’t what it is now. There were no lists of lingerie stockists for the corsetry voyeur to lovingly peruse the virtual rails of lush fabrics, smartest cuts and delicate added detail trims. There were shops in the larger cities that carried one or two designs – I have a lovely red and black one, for example, bought in Cardiff over a decade ago that I bought to wear at a tattoo convention. Oh, that’s another passion of mine – skin art – I love it, my hubby loves it and so between us two we have quite a collection. A collection that has plans for expansion! Anyway, back to Corsetry and all things delicate ๐Ÿ˜‰

We all have different views on how tight a tight-laced corset should be. I like mine tight enough but not so tight that it is uncomfortable. I have chronic back pain (among other things) and so bizarrely, a tight-laced corset offers me support and is a far more beautiful creature than those god awful steel boned corsets that you can get via ‘disability’ websites. I abhor these sites as there is NO scope for personal preference or style choices: you lose your mobility, you lose your sense of style? Like hell have I ๐Ÿ˜‰ A beautiful corset is no cheap pet but if looked after properly, it will re-pay you in self-confidence boosters for years to come. I absolutely adore them.

This is one of my current favourite sites ๐Ÿ™‚ Orchid Corsetry

http://www.orchidcorsetry.co.uk/.

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Run Rabbit Run!

Warning: This post contains material of an adult nature!

Right! That’s it, I’ve gone and done it now!

Last week, we had a virus thing that knocked us all for six. Just bimbling around for a bit of crappy, easy viewing TV, we came across a documentary called Frisky Business. Not something we’d usually watch to be honest but instead of being ‘in your face’ this documentary on Britain’s largest mail order/online Sex Toy distributor was really light and funny and left me actually thinking how great they would be to work for!

I don’t know if it was the viral fever spikes that got us watching it or what. Normally I’d simply by-pass this type of programme because, despite my ‘maturing years’ and candid attitude, I normally blush at anything to do with S-E-X!!!!! Seriously, I can be worse than a teen at a convent Christmas party!

The company ‘Love Honey’ is massive! Distributing to 40% of UK ‘s postcodes! Now, come on, that’s a big business. This alone suggests that however behind bedroom doors we keep it (or keys in the fruit bowl, whatever floats your boat after all), there seems to be a healthy interest in sex in Britain and what a ‘boost’ to the economy – ok, that’s enough double entendres for now!

The company attitude in the offices and on the factory floor is so chilled out it made me want to sign on the dotted contract line there and then. They go to work and they have FUN!!! Imagine that? LAUGHING in work????? Obviously you need to be open minded to work there – if you’re not when you start, you soon bloody will be. Even though the company line is ‘it’s not our place to judge’, it quickly becomes obvious that certain items sold do indeed leave you wondering ‘How?’ or, most often, ‘Why??!!!’ Usually, this issue is resolved by a fit of laughter and ‘normal service resumes’.

Every Friday the staff have access to freebies – can chose items from a number of cardboard stock boxes filled with lingerie, sex toys, bondage stuff etc and take them home … A little something for the weekend?

The only department I would approach with real caution is the ‘returns department’ as products can be returned ‘upto a YEAR’ after purchase … Needless to say they get through a lot of latex gloves – nah, still not keen!! However, how many workplaces do you know of that use a 12 inch dildo to keep elastic bands in place? Seriously, a wall mounted dildo full of elastic bands!

I have just signed up with this company to review products. I kid you not! They send you things to test and you have to review it. So, let’s see what the postman brings me ๐Ÿ˜‰ …. Have no fear though folks, this is not the place where I will be writing my reviews – that will strictly be on the site.

I have always loved Burlesque – all things Razzle Dazzle, sequined, spangled fabulous fabrics and lovely layers… It’s just the art of the tease ๐Ÿ˜‰ X

First attempt at taxidermy

Ok, so a well respected local countryman friend of ours brought us two trapped moles that a customer wanted removing from their lawn. Personally, I have no problem with moles but then again, I don’t have acres of gardens that I pay a gardener to maintain. Always the slightest bit macabre, I thought I’d have a go at stuffing and mounting my mole in the anthropomorphic tradition – give him human qualities. There are many human qualities that I would never wish to burden another type of animal with but, reading? My favourite passion? As moles have weak eyesight, it was a given that my mole would have glasses. He’s an older gentleman too with tired old joints from years of digging and fighting so he needed a walking stick. Readers of Duncton Wood will be familiar with Hulver, an old, wise mole fighting to keep the old ways alive in moledom. I had a name for my mole. This is Hulver!

I have a feeling these pics will turn out wrong lol. Not on my best form today so I’m not the sharpest tack today! I shall rectify any mistakes later X

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Glorious Twelfth

We are big fans of ‘game’ of all sorts in this house. I eat meat and am not one of those that close their eyes conveniently to the deaths of the wild sausages that run in herds …. What? You’re telling me they don’t? ๐Ÿ˜‰ Neither do chops? What about roasting joints? ….. I’m a daughter of a long retired farmer. He got out when intensive farming really caught hold. I was brought up with a ‘give it a good life and a quick death’ attitude towards ‘animals as food’. I’ve only had one nightmare hash of a job some years back – Xmas goose, it didn’t go as smoothly as it should. Quite a funny tale but not for here. Oh, we are dipping into amateur taxidermy too ๐Ÿ™‚

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Two days in,ย and there will be sightsย of men and women traipsing over the purple pillow of heather up and down the country. The purpose: to enjoy the flight and sight of the Grouse off the moors.

There has always been controversy surrounding the issue of any country pursuits, whether that be shooting, fishing or hunting. Many may deem the โ€˜sportโ€™ cruel and inhumane, however I am sure many are unaware of the benefits that such sports bring to our countryside.

Without the shooting aspect, there would be no need for gamekeepers and without them where would the countryside be? They are responsible, not only for the welfare of the birds in their care, but they manage the landscape as well. If grouse shooting did not exist, then there would be no requirement for heather burning as the need for ling (new heather) would not be required.

Not only does thisโ€ฆ

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I’m no Thomas De Quincey but…

So, yesterday I doubled my morphine dose because I couldn’t go any further down the road of ‘being a martyr to my troubles’ *cue old biddy grumblings about blue rinses not being like they used to be* ….. Don’t get me started about the kids at the end of my street ๐Ÿ˜‰ ….. I don’t even have an ‘end of my street’ lol, I live in a lovely little cul-de-sac close to the river. So close in-fact that I can hear the ducks from my bed.

I don’t get De Quinceyesque on morphine. No hallucinatory experiences. I only had that when they put me on Temgesics in 2000. A tiny white pill that dissolved under the tongue and knocked the pain on the head for a few hours. The only problem was that as a self-confessed control freak, I hated this loss of control. Seeing some highly unpleasant things that didn’t really even exist, not in the tangible sense anyway. So, despite being on rather alarming cocktails of top-end opiates and muscle relaxants, I don’t get all trippy. Why? That’s just because the drugs go to work on the pain instead, as they were made and prescribed to do. Oh, now don’t get me wrong. There’s a long list of nasty little side-effects that these buggers give. The dry mouth that prevents saliva production – this is what usually gives drug addicts teeth like Shane McGowan, extra regular trips to the dentist then and I still needed dentures before I hit 35. The dry eyes – no production of tears, scratched corneas here we go. Oh, the list of ‘little things’ goes on and on ad nauseum lol

Hey, I tell you what it does give you though folks – a sense of bloody humour, no matter how warped it can be. Humour is fantastic as a coping mechanism. Helps us get through no end of rubbish and I can’t imagine life without it. Ok, because I’m also bi-polar, my manic sways can often make me a bit full on. I’m not manic now, obviously, if you stick around long enough you will know when it hits. In my ‘natural’ state, I’m quite blunt, abrupt – dare I say possibly quite rude. I do try to reign myself in, I really do but bloody hell can I be awful! So, add this to a manic bout and …… Well, it’s not dull anyway ๐Ÿ˜‰ I really do not mean to be abrasive. I’m told that I’m actually a very kind, compassionate type of gal. It’s just that some times my gob runs off ahead, dragging my brain cell behind it trying to gain some purchase before I go too far!

Right, that’s all folks!! I’m tired and in quite a bit of pain to be fair. I’m lead up in bed on my third day of the mother F of all flare ups and I know I’m going to be a bit of a burden on my husband today because I’ll need help with more things than usual and I’m not going to be the better kind of company that I usually am. This WILL pass, as all things do. So, see you on the other side in a day or so ๐Ÿ™‚

X

Riftwar cycle…what have I gotten into?

Girl after my own heart ๐Ÿ˜€

pebbleinthemoonlight

OK so a while back I mentioned I was reading Magician by Raymond E Feist. So I stopped shortly after due to one thing or another and I thought to myself, as I am going away I should start reading it again. I thought better dig my kindle out download the set of books so I am not left hanging. I fired it up and did a search thinking there was only a few to get and BAM โ€ฆ. How many books? Loads is the answer, now donโ€™t get me wrong I love book series like this and if I am honest it is probably how I would write.

I love fantasy fiction from Tolkien to Gemmell and Salvatore who knows maybe one day probably knowing my luck when I am dead I may join them (hey a girl can dream) but for now I will allow myself to beโ€ฆ

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